Will Kalevipoeg be an appropriate national hero nowadays?

Kalevipoeg is not a necessary example as the one destroying the enemy. It's much more peaceful nowadays. Besides, Kalevipoeg would have nothing we could benefit from - with his humongous body is he a perfect and easily noticeable target.

Kalevipoeg would be a real bad ideal nowadays - he destroyed lots and lots of forests tearing up trees with their roots and all... With the possibilities and conditions we have now it would very quickly lead to an ecological catastrophy...

The habit of throwing stones around could easily become an obsession...

Kalevipoeg was an anarchist - he never cared about the laws ...

The feminists would easily annihilate our Kalevipoeg as a hero much too masculine ...

In addition to all that Kalevipoeg wasn't a smart guy really - now, which kind of sensible person would go and fish for those nice little crayfish with the corps of a horse tied to a tree...

Kalevipoeg was a poor businessman - the Finnish smith 'milked' him way too much. In the present day world full of those business sharks he would simply go into bankrupt...

If we take a close look to the moral standards of Kalevipoeg in consideration of the value of a person's life then you'd be sure to get n+1 sentences of life imprisonment  ...

In contemporary society there's nothing to be done with a lot of strength ... well ... chopping wood excluded ...   Essential is what you can do with your head - Kalevipoeg would become unemployed ...

Kalevipoeg was a great ladies' man. Today it's absolutely nothing new to fascinate people with ...

The command of language Kalevipoeg has is kinda lengthy and strange. In our Beavis'n'Butthead generation it's enough when you know two sentences: "That sucks!" and "This is cool!" ...

There are no sorcerers today that you could fight with and win - nowadays there are much tougher guys moving around who would create a nice sieve of your body in case you don't keep your tongue reasonably  under control ...

As a conclusion it could be said that Kalevipoeg does not meet the euro-requirements of a hero and we WILL NOT  MEET the new millenium riding on his back !

Created on the basis of the original by Golden and Kriips
Translated by Aari